WHAT THE…. FRIDAY!?

Ever wondered if your male compadre wasn’t being faithful? Do you need hard evidence to confront his cheating wang? Do you think it’s beyond talking about? Now you can catch his cheating ass (or doodle) with the Semen Spy!

Developed by a former “law enforcement agent”, it can detect “the smallest amount of semen”.. And don’t worry if your partner just had some happy time in solitude, that’s cheating too! What about a wet dream? CHEATER! Dog humped the pillow? INFIDELITY! Teenage son found Dad’s copy of Naughty Nurses 36? ADULTERY! Stray cats enter the games room and have an orgy on the pool table, sun lounge and bar? EXTRAMARITAL RELATIONS!

That male won’t know where to unload his hazelnuts, he will be so fearful he probably won’t be able to get it up… AFFAIR! He will also be so paranoid he’ll be on wang watch… No one will get any fun time unless it’s with you! Doesn’t that sound like true happiness?

And don’t just take their word for it, it was also on Fox News… Apparently there’s “cheating season”…

Semen Spy does not condone paranoid ejaculation syndrome. If symptoms persist, consult a hitman.